A pomegranate seed, a banana, and then before I knew it you had grown to be the size of a pineapple. Or so one of my three pregnancy apps had said, or was it one of the five books I read? Who knew fruit could be so cute.
I dreamed endless dreams of you, from what we'd name you, to how I'd decorate your nursery, to what color your eyes would be. I also dreamed endless dreams of anything sweet; donuts, candy, cookies, you name it. The sweeter the better. In between dreams I thought to myself how I could probably win a world record on how many times I've peed in one day.
Nine months may not seem like a long time to some, but to soon to be mamas it can feel like a lifetime. Nine months of excitement, nerves, worries, joy, fears, an achy body, cravings, exhaustion, and mood swings (it's true, you can't control it, so just let yourself have a moment and don't apologize). So many ups and downs but no matter how I felt what remained constant was this was my favorite adventure.
The beauty-
This is the obvious. That I was growing a life, holy cow it's amazing what our bodies can do, what we're actually capable of. It's so so amazing.
The ugly-
Sciatica, heartburn, clothes not fitting, wanting to eat three donuts a day, not sleeping well, and crying for no reason (what's up hormones). Each experience is different but this was mine. I somehow dodged any and all morning sickness, but faced intense back pain which made some days hard. Imagine waddling, 25 pounds larger, with sciatica pain. What saved me was physical therapy and acupuncture. I've never tried acupuncture in my life, I actually knew nothing about it. Not only did it ease my back pain and allow me to move again, but it was so relaxing. I honestly cried crawling into her door begging for relief in the first appointment. I ended up feeling like I had just walked out of a 5 star spa (okay that's a stretch but you get my point). My mind raced all the time especially towards the end of my pregnancy, and this helped slow it down. I recommend it for anyone struggling with back pain during pregnancy, or anyone who needs an anxiety break. Now if you're craving sweets like I did, I don't have advice, I lost that battle.
What I learned-
You may miss seeing your feet, you won't get sick of sweets, functioning without caffeine is doable (sort of), leggings are your best friend, and body pillows have got to be the greatest invention. You have this new talent of balancing things on your belly, like your snacks. I also learned nine months go by in the blink of an eye, that it's okay to treat yourself to as many pedicures as you want, and that this was all worth the wait, the frustration, the tears. I put myself first for once without feeling selfish. I learned I could handle whatever was thrown into this experience. I learned this was the greatest adventure I've been blessed with. I finally realized how strong I was, and I hope you can too.
Soon to be mamas-
Embrace your adventure. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. As you witness your body changing don't be so hard on yourself. You'll look back at every stretch, every line, and say, "but I did this" (okay this is easier said then done but from one female to another, you're a bad ass). Take each dip with the mindset that everything will be okay and trust that it will. If you find yourself struggling to balance both the beauty and the ugly of it, grab a tub of ice cream, that's why it's there.
PS- you'll always be tired as a mother, caffeine or no caffeine.
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